To Kiss, or not to Kiss
by Jetainia
Summary: Maria thinks that Clint should have kissed Nat before they split for the mission. Clint knows Nat would have punched him if he had done that.


_MC4A Winter Bingo_

 _Prompt: 1E (Mistletoe)_

 _Representations: Clint Barton; Natasha Romanoff; Asexuality_

 _Bonus Challenges:_ _Sitting Hummingbird; Second Verse (_ _Not A Lamp; Ladylike - Aggressiveness; Middle Name; Unwanted Advice; Unicorn); Future (Where Angels Fear)_

 _Word count: 746_

 _Note: Inspired by the scene in Teen Wolf where Braeden asks Scott why he didn't kiss Kira. My mind went to being a-spec as the reason._

* * *

"Why didn't you kiss her?" The question comes out of the blue and it takes a few moments for it to sink into Clint's mind. He makes a confused noise and Hill clarifies, "Your girlfriend. Why didn't you kiss her?"

"Uh… That's not… We don't do that?"

Hill snorts. "You're in a relationship, of course you do. If you die here, are you going to regret not kissing her?"

Clint shrugs. They weren't like that, that wasn't what they did. Kissing was gross, why would he regret _not_ doing it? If anything, he would regret kissing Nat. Especially if she punched him, which she probably would.

"You should have kissed your girlfriend," Maria states.

"No, I really shouldn't have." Clint shuddered slightly at the punch Nat would have thrown his way if he had tried to kiss her. Yeah, definitely shouldn't have kissed her.

Maria holds up a fisted hand and Clint stops moving, slipping his bow off his shoulder and grabbing an arrow from his quiver. In front of them was the Hydra base they were to infiltrate and destroy. Sitwell was on the other side of the base; his team was creating a distraction for Hill and Clint to slip inside with minimal fuss.

If their team of two didn't manage to make it, there was another team of two to the west. Coulson and Nat would be entering from the ground; Hill and Clint would be entering from the roof. Maria gestured and Clint grinned at her. Bringing the bow up, he sighted, drew, and released. With an unheard grunt, the single guard on the rooftop collapsed with an arrow in his throat.

* * *

"Stop!"

Clint and Natasha froze, hands flying to their weapons on instinct. Hill grinned at them and pointed up; she had made them stop under a sprig of mistletoe hanging from the ceiling. As one, they turned to stare at her disbelievingly.

"Really?" Clint asked.

Maria crossed her arms and nodded. "Really. You know the rules; if you're under the mistletoe with somebody you got to kiss them."

Surprisingly, Maria didn't fall dead at the combined death glares Clint and Natasha were sending her. Natasha flicked her eyes to Clint. "You want to explain what's going on here, Barton?"

"She thinks it's weird that we didn't kiss before the Hydra mission last week. Apparently she's decided to take it into her own hands."

"She does realise I would punch you if you try to kiss me."

"I did tell her that."

The two looked back to Maria once they had finished their conversation. She merely rose an eyebrow and nodded her head at the mistletoe in a silent order. Both Clint and Nat crossed their arms and didn't move. All three of them were determined not to give in until the other did son first. The stalemate continued for several minutes until Coulson came in, stopped, and stared in confusion at the staring contest that was happening.

"Is there a reason we're standing in the way of the coffee machine and not moving?"

Maria gestured to the mistletoe, "They're under the mistletoe together. I'm just waiting for them to satisfy the tradition."

"You do realise that that is a terrible idea, don't you?" Phil enquired in a dry tone.

"Come on, Phil! It can't be that bad."

With a blur of movement, Phil threw something small and silver at the offensive greenery. The mistletoe fell to the ground between Clint and Natasha; the paperclip lay a few feet away.

"Be glad you don't have to see how bad it can get." Phil gestured for Clint and Nat to follow him, passed his empty coffee mug to Maria with a silent glare telling her to fill it, and walked away. "We have a new potential agent. Fury wants you two to make contact and assess them."

"Yes, sir." The two agents followed Coulson happily. As they walked, they shared a look that sealed a pact to never be thrown into a situation like that ever again. They could maybe have gotten away that time, but Hill would have kept trying. Hopefully she'd stop now that Coulson had told her it was a bad idea.

They were sure that Hill would also get a dressing down from their favourite handler soon as well. Probably when she delivered the coffee Phil had made her get for him and they were out of the room (though not out of the vents above Coulson's office).


End file.
